Having a truck makes you an instant buddy. So if you ever feel like you don't have enough friends in this world buy a nice sized pickup and BOOM!!! instant friends. It's the cure for a lonely person. There are a few draw backs to this idea, Like.... hauling their crap to the dumps on a Saturday or moving them from one place to another. And the always pleasant can I just borrow the truck from you so I don't bother you stunt followed by the return of a dirty truck with a quarter tank of gas and a broken tailgate. But it's always a good feeling to know you have true friends, until your pickup is in the shop.
Yes, In this past month I have done all of the above and at this point im ready to sell it for a Ford Fiesta HA HA HA !!!
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
How to say Goodnight
I am sure like everyone else who entertains once and a while you have that all too wonderful guest that just won't get the hint at the end of the night to go HOME. In the old days a broom placed behind the front door was a clue that the party is over. At least I was told that I'm not too sure if that was just a story someone told me or whatever. But I digress. I am not sure if this person is just clueless or just doesn't give a rats rear about others or maybe I'm just such a shiny happy person they just want to linger in the light that is me. LOL. I have tried everything from the subtle hints of the big yawn, looking at the clock and saying "Oh my! its so late and I have to be up extra early tomorrow", to walking with them as we talk towards the front door. At that point they hang on the open door to the outside and talk for another half hour. GRRRRRR! I really try not to be a rude person but OMG please people get the frigging hint!! So, to every person out there who is a guest in someones home. Remember the old saying don't wear out your welcome. If someone is turning the house lights out on you and putting on PJ's, Maybe just Maybe its time for you to go. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here! BTW I do love my friends dearly and I do love to have them around me. Just not at 2 AM on a Sunday night.
Saved by the Librarian !!!
OK, So last night I made a desperate phone call to my favorite Librarian. I begged him to go to the Gym, But...AAAAAYYYYAAAAAAAA! He had an incident at the Gym the day before. It so happened that a friend of the family was on his way over when I was "ALONE" and I really didn't feel like being chased around the couch trying to pry this guy off. So... I begged him to come over for dinner so there was another person around. Smart last min. thinking on my part. Of course he was more than happy to save the day =). As it turns out I told the other "Friend" that my librarian buddy was also gonna be over. And sure enough later that night about 10pm he called and told me he got caught up with computer work and could not make it over but would call me the next day. Of course when I would again be alone. Needless to say the answering machine is on today. Thank you Sir Librarian for the late night save!!!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
A note from Satan about manners!
Hi, I'm Satan, and I'd like to talk to you about good manners.
Kids, good manners are a staple of polite society. If you don't have good manners, you may be considered rude or boorish, and you will be eternally damned to Hell.
To start with, there's no substitution for being polite. A simple "Please" or "Thank You" will go a long way towards making someone's day a little bit brighter, a little bit happier. For example, when burning the flesh off of a sinning mortal's bones, I always make sure to thank my screaming victim for his time. Eternal suffering can be hard work, and I appreciate their effort.
And you'd be surprised how many miserable souls will allow me to carve unholy symbols on their eyeballs when I simply say "Please."
Yes, common courtesey goes a long way towards curing society's ills.
While we're being courteous, always remember to hold doors open for people less fortunate than you. Allowing a wooden door to slam into the face of an unlucky paraplegic is a sure-fire way to get a one-way ticket to Hell.
I always try to hold doors open as I herd my tormented subjects towards a pit of rabid fire ants or a room full of living flame which is just waiting to melt their heart inside the ribcage.
And people, take off your hats when you're indoors! Wearing a hat indoors is silly, rude, and will send you straight to Hell where you'll burn for all eternity.
People who wear hats indoors are subjected to hideous torment in Hell, where they're forced to stand, hatless, in the middle of a downpour of sulfuric acid which continually melts through their skull and into the soft tissue of their brain, where it creates unimaginable pain for all time.
That goes for baseball caps, too.
Finally kids, be sure to raise your hand before speaking. If you simply shout out in a crowd without being called on, you run the risk of looking foolish, offending the other kids, and yes, going to Hell.
When tiny worms of pestilence and famine are crawling along the insides of the skin of the damned, the poor souls know that the only way they'll ever get a moment's peace is if they raise their hand and wait for me to call on them instead of just crying out in extreme agony.
But they tend to scream anyway.
To sum up, be polite. Common courtesey takes little to no effort on your part, and can save you an eternity of afterlife misery. Remember, polite people go to Heaven, rude people go to Hell and have their own pus-ridden entrails fed to them nightly.
I'm Satan, see ya later!
Hi, I'm Satan, and I'd like to talk to you about good manners.
Kids, good manners are a staple of polite society. If you don't have good manners, you may be considered rude or boorish, and you will be eternally damned to Hell.
To start with, there's no substitution for being polite. A simple "Please" or "Thank You" will go a long way towards making someone's day a little bit brighter, a little bit happier. For example, when burning the flesh off of a sinning mortal's bones, I always make sure to thank my screaming victim for his time. Eternal suffering can be hard work, and I appreciate their effort.
And you'd be surprised how many miserable souls will allow me to carve unholy symbols on their eyeballs when I simply say "Please."
Yes, common courtesey goes a long way towards curing society's ills.
While we're being courteous, always remember to hold doors open for people less fortunate than you. Allowing a wooden door to slam into the face of an unlucky paraplegic is a sure-fire way to get a one-way ticket to Hell.
I always try to hold doors open as I herd my tormented subjects towards a pit of rabid fire ants or a room full of living flame which is just waiting to melt their heart inside the ribcage.
And people, take off your hats when you're indoors! Wearing a hat indoors is silly, rude, and will send you straight to Hell where you'll burn for all eternity.
People who wear hats indoors are subjected to hideous torment in Hell, where they're forced to stand, hatless, in the middle of a downpour of sulfuric acid which continually melts through their skull and into the soft tissue of their brain, where it creates unimaginable pain for all time.
That goes for baseball caps, too.
Finally kids, be sure to raise your hand before speaking. If you simply shout out in a crowd without being called on, you run the risk of looking foolish, offending the other kids, and yes, going to Hell.
When tiny worms of pestilence and famine are crawling along the insides of the skin of the damned, the poor souls know that the only way they'll ever get a moment's peace is if they raise their hand and wait for me to call on them instead of just crying out in extreme agony.
But they tend to scream anyway.
To sum up, be polite. Common courtesey takes little to no effort on your part, and can save you an eternity of afterlife misery. Remember, polite people go to Heaven, rude people go to Hell and have their own pus-ridden entrails fed to them nightly.
I'm Satan, see ya later!
Superhero Movie
The next movie my fabulous friend is going with me and my family to is SUPERHERO MOVIE! Check it out! If you go to the movie soon, and see someone being treated like a movie-star, that's me! Really!
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